I don't want to get into it.

We're moved. If you can call it that. It is going to be quite a while before I feel up to writing about this whole experience. Put it this way, we've been in tears daily. Every single thing that could go wrong...has gone wrong. Things are still going wrong. We were under the impression that once we signed, everything would get better from there. What the hell ever! We are beyond stressed and overwhelmed and are ready to leave everything behind, claim bankruptcy and move to Mexico. That is just how badly this whole thing has gone. The End for now.

Quick update.

It's 1:38AM and I can't sleep. I am seriously stressed. We didn't close on the 18th as planned. As of right this minute we don't even know if the house is actually going to be ours'. There have been so many curve balls pitched at us by this "lender" and I am beginning to think he is screwing with us. We made it over 3 MAJOR hurdles only to be told TODAY that we must sign automatic withdrawal forms for our mortgage payments to come out the 25th of each month. September's payment comes out August 25th and so on. One problem. I only get paid on the last day of the month. There isn't money in the bank to cover the payment on the 25th. PLUS he told us we wouldn't have a payment at all for August so we had planned on using that money to help with closing costs. He says they can't change the date but he'll ask the president of the company if he will make an exception. SOOO if he won't, we've taken the day off tomorrow to look at apartments. Lovely. So freaking screwed!

What kind of place doesn't give you an option on what date you have a large payment automatically deducted from your acct???

Bad news on my aunt as well. We just found out that she is in end stage kidney failure. Due to her cancer I don't believe she is eligible for a transplant :( I am so devastated! She had her first chemo treatment today. Something she didn't want to do, she doesn't want her body torn apart by chemo. The dr's told her she wouldn't make it without it because her kidneys are just giving up. I don't know what's next. Dialysis? That will be torture for her. 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I just want to go through it all for her and spare her the pain. Her God, the one she has followed her whole life, the one she worships and trusts and loves and prays to, needs to step in and do something for her. She is a true follower of Christ and this is what she gets in return? Another reason I can't bring myself to believe that there truly is a loving God.

Off to try to get some rest. I can't turn my mind off.

A few house pics

The Amazing Kitchen! All stainless steel appliances, granite countertops and a 3 seater bar.
Kind of hard to tell from the picture but this is the master shower. All stone and really nice!
My favorite part of the house. The dining room which you enter through french doors right off the kitchen.


Just wanted to share a few pics of the new house. We're 3 days away from closing and now they have a new "bump in the road" so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out because we have no money and no place to go if it doesn't.

Time is running out.

We close on the house on Friday. Our lease here at the apartment is up on July 29th which means we HAVE to be moved out and the apartment has to be cleaned from top to bottom by the 29th at noon. So how have I been spending my days, you ask? Sleeping. I have never been so unmotivated in my life. I feel terribly embarrassed! It isn't because I am just being lazy, it is because I don't feel well. I promise. I even missed out on the final walk through on the house today. I was in too much pain to get up and get ready to go. I hope that wasn't a mistake. Hubs did go and said everything was fixed to our liking.

I have personally packed 4 boxes. 2 boxes of scrapbooking materials and 2 boxes from my closet. I guess you could say I am not doing my part. BUT I have been working. I did miss 2 days of work this week but 1 was for our anniversary.

Speaking of our anniversary, it was July 9th. We have been married for 4 years and together for 9 years. Amazing, considering I am only 27. Hubs took the day off to spend the day with me. I had been suffering from a horrible migraine for 5 days beforehand so I was a little weary. We decided to go to the Casino and have lunch at their buffet. We are NOT gamblers and had never even been before. Neither one of us like throwing away our money and having nothing to show for it.

So we had a wonderful buffet lunch which included this heavenly dessert buffet bigger than our new kitchen! Everything imaginable was there and I wasn't going to leave without tasting absolutely everything I wanted to! :) To Hubs horrid embarrassment, I proceeded to bring back about 8 plates of dessert (some had multiple desserts on them), one bowl of ice cream topped with m&m minis, caramel sauce and homemade whipped cream AND a rootbeer float. I only ate 2-3 bites of each thing, I am not a pig after all :) It was heaven I tell you!

Oh don't worry, I ate regular food too. I had 3 pieces of bbq salmon (SOOOOO yummy!), a'gratin potatoes, butter and chive mashed potatoes, buttered brussel sprouts, fried okra, buttered broccoli, cornbread with honey, one yeast roll, one parmesan roll, 1/2 a piece of 4 cheese pizza, some nachos with queso, guac, sour cream, bean and corn salsa, lettuce and tomatoes on top, a bowl of cantaloupe, some crab salad, some fried potatoes and I think that might be it. Wow, it seemed like I ate alot more than that :) I love buffets, can you tell?

What? You want me to tell you about the desserts too? OK...there was a chocolate cream pie, strawberry shortcake with the best damned homemade whipped cream I have ever had in my entire life!!! Then I had 3 chocolate strawberries (which I only ended up eating 1 of), 2 pieces of meringue candy, a pretzel stick in chocolate, a piece of chocolate espresso cake, some strawberry swirl cake (they didn't actually label the desserts), a cup of chocolate mousse, some tiny handmade chocolate with a cherry on top, a layered brownie and cheesecake of some sorts, a raspberry cheesecake and I do believe that was it. And at one point, I asked Hubs to go up there with me so he could help me carry it back. Even as embarrassed as he was, he did it for me :) Good ol' Hubs.

At one point I was getting one of my first plates of food and one of the buffet chefs behind the counter saw my face full of smiles and said "How are you doing today happy girl?" That was kind of embarrassing. I guess I couldn't hide my overwhelming excitement due to the food heaven surrounding me.

After at least an hour at the buffet I tried to get Hubs to sit there with me for another hour so we could get hungry again but he insisted that I was the only one who would get hungry again for quite some time. So we left and went into the casino, with visions of big money dancing in our heads.

We had decided to only spend $20. We're broke, buying a house and need all the money we have but we figured we would try on our lucky day. We played penny slots, nickel slots, quarter slots and 1 dollar slot. Between us we won about $6 but we gambled it away and walked out of there $20 poorer than when we had arrived.

Now let me ask you something. How in the world is gambling fun? Even when we won, we won no more than $2.50 and the money was sucked from our hands faster than I can eat a cookie (and let me tell you, that is pretty damn fast!). How is that fun? And we were there at noon on a Wednesday and there were a ton of people there too. We just don't see the appeal. Thankfully, because I couldn't handle it if Hubs decided he had a thing for gambling.

Anyway...I held onto Hubs arm all day, we talked and smiled and laughed like we were dating and had a really really good day! Granted we made it home by 3:00 but he did one of my favorite things and lay in bed for the rest of the day and we watched 6 Feet Under and another movie I can't quite remember. Overall, it was a great day! Best of all? The next day Hubs emailed me to tell me how much fun he had AND to tell me that he kept smiling when he thought about me and my desserts :)

I think the buffet employees might remember me for a while :)

Overland Park, we have a problem...

I don't know what is wrong with my Cody Bear. He has never done this before. I am shocked, I am freaked out and I am worried. What is going on, you ask? He has started to hump his brother Cooper. Now I know that this is a normal thing for dogs. BUT it usually is something that starts early on. Cody is 3 almost 3 1/2. He has always humped blankets which he balls up and puts underneath him. He loves one blanket in particular, a KU blanket, we call it his girlfriend. Well, he has never humped anything else in his life. Nothing, nada, no one. So imagine my surprise when I see him mounting Cooper from behind yesterday as we watched a movie. At first I thought I was just imagining it and they were just playing around like they do. They jump all over each other all day long. But then I saw it...the back and forth action, the front paws clutched beneath Cooper's stomach. Did I yell? Did I say "no!"? Nope...I calmly said "look what Cody is doing to Cooper." to my husband. He freaked out and thought I was weird for not stopping it. I just wanted him to see it so he knew I wasn't making it up. After he saw, I told Cody to stop. He did. Then he started again. Like he had found a new toy that he couldn't stop playing with. He mounted his brother again. Cooper had this look on his face like "whatcha doin Cody?" Not too bothered and not too worried about what was going on. Just happy that they were playing. This time I clapped and told him more sternly "NO!" He stopped. He heavily panted for a few minutes while I got back into the movie and then he did it again. Just walked on over to Cooper, put his paws on his back, and started humping. "NO CODY NO!" I yelled. That time it worked. He hasn't tried it since. But my question is, why the sudden urge? He is neutered, they both are. Is this what they do to pass the time when we're at work? Cooper sure didn't seem to mind. Oh boy. I do not like this. They say it's a dominance thing but Cody is clearly alpha, always has been and Cooper submits to him all day long so why would he suddenly feel the urge to show his dominance in this way? Any ideas?

My new look!

So how do you like it? It looks fabulous, if I do say so myself LOL! I won a free blog design from Lauren at www.restored316designs.com and she did everything I asked for and more. If you are looking to have your blog re-done, definitely check her out! Thanks so much Lauren.

This is going to be very brief. I have been feeling just awful this week. Worse than I have felt in at least a month if not more. I don't know what is up but it is really bad timing with the move and everything. I have had a migraine for 2 days, the inside of my nose burns, my eyes ache, I am in a ton of pain and my stomach is hurting like crazy. I feel so badly for Frank. He has just been chugging along packing and getting things ready and most of my free time is spent in bed. I'm such a lame wife. :( And then my boys, they have both been acting funny so I took them in to have their kidneys tested again. I figured since it is claim time (litigation against Menu Foods for pet food poisoning) I needed to know exactly where we stand levels wise. I should find out tomorrow. I pray it is good news because when I took them in Dr. Daly made sure to tell me, AGAIN, how freakin lucky I am that Cody hasn't died yet with his levels the way they are. :( :( :( I just don't want to talk about it or think about it right now.

I have been spending hours pouring over decorating sites/blogs while on my sick bed. Do you have any to recommend? I need ideas. Cheap ideas since Frank seems stuck on the fact that we have no money for decorating. Stinking thinking I tell you.

Guess What?

I made it to work every single day last week AND worked an average of 4.5 hours each day. I haven't done that in months, maybe even a year. I am trying my hardest so that Hubs is more at ease with the whole house buying thing. On the other hand, I am so exhausted that I come home and hang out in bed with the boys. So nothing is getting done around here. Nothing. Hubs has been packing, I have been sleeping. But if I am going to keep working like this, I need to rest when I am home. He will have to understand and so far I think he is understanding.

News about the house? Well the inspection did not go great. They found termites, a huge water leak that had happened SINCE we had seen the house, a water leak in the dining room which was hurting the brand new hardwood floors, a fire hazard in the attic and numerous small other things. Frank was freaking out thinking this was it, the house wasn't happening. Then the seller showed up. I can't tell you how great that was because right then and there he told Frank and I that he would take care of all of it. Still, Hubs didn't believe him. So we drew up the contract of what we wanted fixed (remember, they told us they wouldn't be fixing much of anything because they had already come down on the price so much) and they came back and said, just like he told us, they would fix everything! Isn't that awesome? So now Frank says "well we still have to hope all the paperwork pans out." OMG! First it was "well we still have to see what the inspection finds" and now it's paperwork. I swear. Even when we are living in the house he is still not going to think it's ours'. I love him and his stinking thinking though.